Happy Mother’s Day mum. Miss you so very much. Xx❤️❤️

When my sailing days are over, And I sail the seas no more, I shall build myself a refuge By the ocean’s murmuring shore. As I watch the foaming breakers When the tide comes rushing in, I will contemplate my lifetime With its virtues and its sins. Where the azure of the heavens Meets the undulating blue, Where the sweeping, soaring seagull Flies on its endless quest for food. It is there that I would rest, When my work on earth is done, At the endless blue horizon Beneath the crimson, setting sun Grandma. Or as I called her, Gma. She will be missed so much. By so many. From ancient history to current affairs, she always kept me up to date with the latest discoveries and news. Even when I moved away, she would send me newspaper clippings from the Herald or the Times. I guess she hadn’t mastered sending articles online via WhatsApp. Or even replying to messages either. Many times, she sent me a paragraph or two about something going on in town and asking about my new family but when I replied, I was always left on those dreaded blue ticks. And talking of sending things, I’ll never forget the mountains of instant coffee that I received in the post, sent from the post office here in Farnham all the way to my house in Finland. But that is who Gma was. She was thoughtful, caring and always put others first. Her kindness knew no bounds. She always let Aliisa and Maisa play on her old rocking horse and let them run like madmen around her garden and house. For our wedding, she lent Jenna her pearl tiara which Gma had used on her wedding day to Gpa. These are some of the gifts to us we will never forget that cost nothing to her but meant the world to us She was also adapt at giving life lessons. I remember one time when I was out in town celebrating a work colleagues birthday, I was staying at Gmas house as it was easier to get to after the drinking finished. I won’t go into details but lets just say that when I returned home, I ruined her house. I was young and dumb. But Gma didn’t get mad at me when she woke up to find the carnage. Instead, she cleaned me up, made me breakfast, gave me a painkiller for my hangover and then drove me to work. The only words she uttered to me on the drive to work were ‘I’m not angry at you. Just disappointed. Don’t make a habit of this’. And I’ve never forgotten those words. I hated disappointing her as she was the kindest person I knew. When other people could have flipped their lid, she had sorted me out and even packed me lunch for the day. She is a presence that will be eternally missed but now she is resting with Gpa. No more pain, no more worries. I think we can all agree she changed our lives for the better and I will forever be thankful for that.

Welcome & Opening Words by Celebrant, Nick Underwood Welcome to this ceremony for Valerie. I met some of the family last week, to get a sense of how Valerie wanted this ceremony to be. She was keen for there to be minimal fuss and being a lover of the outdoors, for it to be eco-friendly and nature-orientated. As some of those who knew and loved her best, this will be no surprise to you. And all the readings that you’re going to hear are likewise personal to her life and what was most loved about her. To that end we’ll hear a tribute from Pip and letter to her Mum from Jo. But first we’re going to hear from Tom who has a few words of tribute of his own to share and a poem that he has chosen in light of Valerie’s love for being by the sea, especially with family. Reading Gma read by Tom Avula When my sailing days are over, And I sail the seas no more, I shall build myself a refuge By the ocean’s murmuring shore. As I watch the foaming breakers When the tide comes rushing in, I will contemplate my lifetime With its virtues and its sins. Where the azure of the heavens Meets the undulating blue, Where the sweeping, soaring seagull Flies its endless quest for food. It is there that I would rest, When my work on earth is done, At the endless blue horizon ‘Neath the crimson, setting sun. Tribute by Pip Fry Mum, grandma, great grandma AKA G’ma. Val, or Ducky-Love!! Mum was the most kind, caring, generous, funny , compassionate , loving person I know, and I cherish all the time I had with her, as I’m sure we all do. She loved her children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren with her whole heart, absolutely unconditionally. When Dad got the tenancy for Bushey Reeds in 1970, he still had to go back to the farm he was managing to find his replacement and work out his contract, so for the first few months Mum was on her own for a lot of the time with 3 small girls and pregnant, the house was in a bit of a state, so, in between looking after us, she cleaned it up and decorated it, never complained, just got on with it. How on earth mum coped with us 4 small boisterous kids and worked on the farm with Dad I don’t know, but she did, she got up at 4 in the morning to get the cows in, helped dad with the silage and hay making, Mum even did some baling, it was a common sight to come home from school to see Mum forking up grass on the silage clamp. She reared all the calves for quite a few years, she calved cows, checked the heifers and dry cows daily, decorated the house, cooked wholesome hearty meals, 101 ways to cook mince!! kept us clean and tidy, which must have been a full time job on its own!! getting us to school on time, so good was she, that she even got us to school over an hour early on one occasion. She dropped us off at the gate and drove off, not realising that there was nobody else there!! Even after school she used to pack up a picnic and take us to wherever Dad was working and make sure he had a break, or if he was baling, she would go and stack the bales. What Mum did, how much she did and how she found time to make glorious fruit cakes, bread, and breakfast fry ups for who ever was milking that morning, which we still talk about to this day, we will never know. And the list goes on. When we were little She even made us toys, Jo a ballerina dress, me a wooden farm yard with sheds, Kat a wooden zoo with animal pens and Matt a big fluffy red dinosaur to name but a few. Mum worked hard, long hours by dads side on and off the farm. But she always found time for us. When the Grandchildren came along, mum looked after them when we were working, she absolutely loved the time she spent with them, and I’m sure Tom, Sylvie, James and Robbie have some lovely memories of those days and the holidays Mum and Dad took them on. Mum had a great love of reading, particularly history, which in turn rubbed off on us. She also loved gardening, as does her brother Colin, which came from their dad, who was a gardener for Gertrude Jekyll. Mum’s other love was horses, as a little girl she had a love for them, she was about 4 or 5 years old when she was found in a field “talking” to the neighbour’s old hunters. Mum enjoyed the wildlife on the farm and was always keen to know what we had seen on our travels round the farm, and when she was able, she would walk round the farm for hours, just watching the wildlife, seeing what fauna and flora she could spot. She also loved people, she loved to listen and learn new things, but she also loved to chat!! shopping was a nightmare as it took her 3 times as long, because she would bump into a friend and talk for ages, then bump into someone else and that would be another half an hour gone and so on. Mum We will never forget what you mean to us and what you have done for us. Our lives have been so much richer with you by our side and we owe you so much. You were the heart and soul of our family and the farm. We love you and miss you more than words can say. _________ We’re now going to hear a letter that Jo has written for her Mum. “Letter To Mum” read by Jo Paull Darling Mum, Thank you for being the most amazing, compassionate and fun mother a girl could have and for being the best Gma and great-grandmother any child could wish for. You have always been there for us all and there are SO many wonderful memories of you that I treasure. Where do I start? You never went anywhere without your lippy and on one memorable occasion told the driving instructor at Goodwood that you would not proceed until you had applied it! All those funny little Christmas stockings with weird and wonderful presents alongside some fantastic reading matter (usually sourced from the local charity shops). Oh, and the phone calls every birthday with a rendition of “Happy birthday to you!” All those long walks where the end was just around the next corner or over the next hill; you - garbed in your trademark blue wellies, tartan skirt and blue Barbour using your trusty blackthorn walking stick with a Bloody Butcher fishing fly set into the top. We walked miles to find Carrig Cennan castle (in vain) but we were buoyed up by your enthusiasm and the ever-present picnic! The lovely girls’ days out with you, usually around your birthday. Who of us could forget the episode of the “Frog whispering” on the battlefield at Hastings?! The days at the races, either at Tweseldown for the Point-to-Points or at Newbury for the Hennessy where we had the incident of the broccoli and stilton soup! The walks home from St Andrews through the river meadows munching on a french stick from Worsams Bakery in Downing Street. The picnics in Campfire field eating your legendary pizza’s and potato salad baguettes. Our New Year’s Day walks munching on left over mince pies and turkey sandwiches. All those shows that you came to and often drove me to with the Exmoors, and later on with Millie and Bluebell. You even walked the sponsored ride routes at Frensham and Hampton on many occasions. But you were always so supportive of my, mostly inadequate, equine efforts and were there to either congratulate me or commiserate with me as the occasion required. The wonderful holidays we had at Sea Winds at Bracklesham, and then Exmoor and Wales. You batch-baked meals for the family for weeks beforehand so that all was needed was to reheat them after a long, happy day exploring. Your bread pud, fruit cake and wholemeal bread made in terracotta flower pots always kept us fuelled up. We always had a proper meal even at the end of a long working day. Your love of nature and the world around you and your knowledge of folk- and country-lore. Many a time we have been out and you have stopped to point out a flower or tree that most would have overlooked and you always rejoiced in the first celandine, snowdrop, primrose or swallow. Your recollections of Wisborough Green as a young girl!! Our visits to London to the British Museum to see the Tutankhamun exhibition (where we queued for hours but oh, how it was worth it) and to see the Pompeii and Troy exhibitions and our theatre trip to see War Horse. I think the only bad experience we had was when you took us to see the Belstone Fox at the cinema and we all ended up in tears after the harrowing scene of the hounds on the railway track? But, bar that, we watched some memorable films, ballets, operas and stage plays which gave us a well rounded and eclectic education in the arts. Your amazing kindness to Chris, I and the boys when he was going through chemotherapy – always offering help, meals and a hug. That was you all over. Everything you did or made was ALWAYS done with love and care – from the humble fish-and-chip supper to your wonderful Christmas dinners complete with the wind-inducing red cabbage or the home-made Christmas pudding that you had simmered for two hours only to find that, on turning it out, was nothing more than a pile of dust due to a mite in the flour! Much mirth was had that day!! In another life I could imagine you as one of those tough pioneering women who conquered the Mid-West in the 19th Century. I can just picture you in a round-topped wagon filled with children and your possessions, skilfully guiding your mules to land yet to be claimed. You learned to ride side-saddle in your 60s and did so beautifully. You were intrepid enough to climb aboard the Lord Nelson on its first leg from London to the Channel Islands which you absolutely loved. How amazing is that for a 70-something? You also stood in solidarity with the ladies at Greenham Common who were protesting against the nuclear missiles there. Quietly determined. There are SO very many happy memories of you, Mum, that I could stand and talk about them all day but I must leave you now as I know you will be wanting to get back to Dad. All my love, Jo ___________ What you’ve heard today has no doubt evoked a true feeling of Valerie’s character and a strong sense of how she will live on in your memories. You’re warmly invited to share your own memories and perspectives on Val and what her life means to you personally, after this ceremony back at the farm, where she specifically requested for her wake to be like a party and there will be a playlist of music she loved which she chose herself, everything from Beethoven and Bach to the Stray Cats. She even hoped that people might dress as for a party and don’t hold back if you’ve got your make-up with you - she wouldn’t have done so! In fact, I’m told that she would call the hairdresser before she got round to making appointments with the doctor. On the news of James’s birth, she wouldn’t leave for the hospital until she’d done her lippie. Valerie was well loved by many people and it has been a shock to the family to lose her so suddenly and so soon after Keith, when she had plans in place for her future. But there is some comfort for the family in knowing that she was not in pain at the end. And if you were in any doubt as to how she hoped to end her days and with what thoughts and images in mind, do read the words on the back of your orders of ceremony, written by her in her notebook some years ago. And there’s a blessing to be shared now which may also bring you some comfort as - with love and respect - you bid her farewell and leave her to a lasting peace. The reading is called “Peace My Heart.” Blessing “Peace My Heart” by Rabindranath Tagore Peace, my heart, let the time for the parting be sweet. Let it not be a death but completeness. Let love melt into memory, and pain into songs. Let the flight through the sky end in the folding of the wings over the nest. Let the last touch of your hands be gentle like the flower of the night. Stand still, O Beautiful End, for a moment, and say your last words in silence. I bow to you and hold up my lamp to light you on your way. - Interment - A final reading now to close the ceremony - The Unkown Shore b Elizabeth Clark Hardy. Reading The Unknown Shore by Elizabeth Clark Hardy Sometime at Eve when the tide is low I shall slip my moorings and sail away With no response to a friendly hail In the silent hush of the twilight pale When the night stoops down to embrace the day And the voices call in the water's flow Sometime at Eve when the water is low I shall slip my moorings and sail away. Through purple shadows That darkly trail o'er the ebbing tide And the Unknown Sea, And a ripple of waters to tell the tale Of a lonely voyager sailing away To mystic isles Where at anchor lay The craft of those who had sailed before O'er the Unknown Sea To the Unknown Shore A few who watched me sail away Will miss my craft from the busy bay Some friendly barques were anchored near Some loving souls my heart held dear In silent sorrow will drop a tear But I shall have peacefully furled my sail In mooring sheltered from the storm and gale And greeted friends who had sailed before O'er the Unknown Sea To the Unknown Shore